"--_Puck_.
Daddy came home from the office early one evening and mother had not
returned from some friends whom she had been visiting for tea.
Little four-year-old Gwennie ran up to her father's side. "Daddy," she
cried, "I've been wanting to see you for a long time when mother's not
near."
"Why, my little girl?" asked father.
"Well, dad," answered Gwennie, "please don't tell mother, because
she's an awful dear, but I don't think she knows much about bringing
up children."
"What makes you think that?" asked her father.
"Well," replied Gwennie, "she makes me go to bed when I am wide awake
and she makes me get up when I am awfully sleepy."
BOBBY--"Daddy, look! There's an aeroplane."
ABSORBED DADDY--"Yes, dear--don't touch it."
PARROTS
"Mercy! How that bird swears!" exclaimed the would-be purchaser. "What
would my husband say?"
"I dunno, ma'am," replied the dealer. "But whatever it was this 'ere
parrot could repeat it right over after him."
OLD LADY--"I want you to change that parrot I bought from you--he
doesn't speak at all, and you said he'd repeat every word he heard."
SHOPMAN--"Yes, madam, and so he would--but you took him in such a
hurry that I hadn't time to tell you he was deaf.
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