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Stein, Gertrude, 1874-1946

"More Toasts"

With our poor Post Office service, it
was the only way he could get it to him."

COUNTRY LADY--"I've been expecting a packet of medicine by post for a
week, and haven't received it yet."
POST-OFFICE CLERK--"Yes, madam. Kindly fill in this form, and state
the nature of your complaint."
LADY--"Well, if you must know, it's indigestion."

Aunt Mehitable Trusalive wants to know why it is every letter she
gets somebody is always printing on the outside: "Join the Navy." She
declares to goodness she never thought of such a thing and if they
don't stop she'll have the law on them.

DASHER--"This parcel-post package is being delivered in unusually
quick time. How do you account for it?"
MAIL-CARRIER--"The department thought it contained a time-bomb,
sir."-_Judge_.

FANNING--"What's become of that rubber stamp, 'Dictated, but not
read,' that you used to use on your letters?"
DASHER--"I threw it away and got one that prints, 'Mailed, but not
delivered.'"


POVERTY

Poverty is the greatest of physicians. His method is prophylactic
rather than therapeutic, but in point of results he is in a class by
himself.
His practice attests the efficacy of the ounce of prevention in big
doses.


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