SEARCH
0-9 A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Prev | Current Page 490 | Next

Stein, Gertrude, 1874-1946

"More Toasts"

It was moving because half of the other
half left before I was through. And it must have been satisfactory,
inasmuch as I wasn't asked to come again.'"

The minister had just preached his farewell sermon to the congregation
with whom he had had much trouble.
"How beautiful!" said a visitor to one of the deacons, "and how
appropriate for a farewell sermon!"
"Think so?" said the deacon gruffly.
"Why, yes. What better text could he find than 'In My Father's house
are many mansions.... I go to prepare a place for you.' By the way,
where is he going?"
The deacon smiled sourly as he answered: "He becomes chaplain of the
State penitentiary."

While a certain Scottish minister was conducting religious services in
an asylum for the insane, one of the inmates cried out wildly:
"I say, have we got to listen to this?"
The minister, surprised and confused, turned to the keeper and said:
"Shall I stop speaking?"
The keeper replied:
"No, no; gang along, gang along; that will not happen again. That man
only has one lucid moment every seven years."

Mr. Bryan says his next statement will be divided into three parts.
Instinctively we recall the announcement of a mountaineer preacher who
said to his flock:
"Brethren, I hev decided t' divide my sermon in three parts.


Pages:
478 479 480 481 482 483 484 485 486 487 488 489 490 491 492 493 494 495 496 497 498 499 500 501 502