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Stein, Gertrude, 1874-1946

"More Toasts"

"
"Swearing!" exclaimed the father. "I'll teach him to swear!"
And with that the angry parent started up-stairs in the dark. Half-way
up he stumbled and came down with his chin on the top step.
When the confusion had subsided Harry's mother was heard saying from
the hallway: "That will do, Richard, dear. You have given him enough
for one lesson."

Sometime ago a pious young clerical prevailed on a rather profane
aviator to take him for a flight. After attaining several thousand
feet the motor suddenly stopped, revealing to the uttermost the
aviator's gift of profanity.
The alarmed pastor excitedly demanded if there was any danger. The
pilot replied sarcastically that there would be prayer instead of
profanity if there was any danger.
The motor "cut in" again and the flight continued. Suddenly the motor
stopped again and notwithstanding the pilot's efforts, accompanied
by the usual lurid language, he was forced to alight. Just as he
flattened out for his landing, the pilot was disconcerted by hearing
the parson exclaim in fervid tones: "Thank God the aviator is still
swearing."

Small Ann's mother had been disturbed to hear her using the word
"devil." "My dear," said she, "that is a word we do _not_ use in
polite society, and I never want to hear you say it again.


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