"
She noticed that her admonition was carefully heeded. Then on Sunday
evening, about two weeks later, the mother inquired what the day's
lesson had been about. "Why, mother," was Ann's answer, "it was about
when our Lord was tempted by the--by--by--the--the _gentleman that
keeps hell!_"
Young William was evincing much interest in the evening paper, but
finally a puzzled look came over his countenance.
"Mother," said he, finally, "what does D--d stand for?"
"Doctor of Divinity, my son. Don't they teach you the common
abbreviations in school?"
"Sure; but that don't seem to sound right here."
"Read it out aloud."
"WITNESS: I heard the defendant say, I'll make you suffer for this.
I'll be doctor of divinity if I don't!'"
"Say, Sam, why do you-all carry that parrot around with you on the
wagon?"
"Well, yo' see, boss, I'se a membah of the chu'ch, but de mule ain't,
so I hauls the pa'ot to fu'nish the cussin' fo' de mule."
FATHER--"I'm ashamed to see you crying because a bee stung you. Act
like a man."
BOBBIE--"Y-yes, and th-then you-you'd gim-me a li-lickin', like you
s-said y-you would i-if yon ever h-heard m-me usin' that k-kind of
l-language."
PROFESSIONS
An ambitious young man went to a university professor and said:
"Sir, I desire a course of training which will fit me to become the
superintendent of a great railway system.
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