How much will such a course
cost, and how long will it take?"
"Young man," replied the professor, "such a course would cost you
twenty thousand dollars, and require twenty years of your time. But,
on the other hand, by spending three hundred dollars of your money and
three months of your time you may be elected to Congress. Once there
you will feel yourself competent to direct not one but all the great
railroad systems of our country."
The reform warden always made it a point to give each new arrival a
chance to do the work with which he was familiar, if the penitentiary
dealt in his line. A tailor named Levinski arrived, and it was ordered
that he be employed at that trade, if there was an opening. There
wasn't. He was asked if he was adept at anything else. "Yes," he
replied, with a smile, "I am a crackerjack traveling salesman."
PROFITEERS
The wicked garage-keeper was trying to figure out his income tax.
"If a man brings his car to me to be repaired, and it costs me sixty
cents, and I charge him sixteen dollars, what per cent profit would I
be making?" he demanded of his son and heir.
"I'm sure I don't know, pop," answered that young hopeful. "You'll
have to get somebody who knows the rules of grand larceny to tell you
that.
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