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Stein, Gertrude, 1874-1946

"More Toasts"

But for years folks have been talking about a lot o'
chaps that 'ud be such wonders if they didn't drink, an' I want to see
'em get a little more time to make good."

"It is indeed a pleasure," remarked the man who approves of
prohibition, "to be able to walk the streets without seeing a saloon
on every corner."
"And yet," returned the unregenerate one, "it's a great comfort to
know they are there, even if you don't see them."

Prohibition doesn't prohibit; it just provokes.

"Mamma, what does it mean when you're wined and dined?"
"That's an obsolete term, Harold. Now you are only grape-juiced and
cornbreaded."

"This Prohibition outlook is a trifle expensive."
"How so?"
"Why, I've just had to build an addition to my wine cellar."

"Well," said the first clubman, "we may have to drink water pretty
soon."
"Water?"
"Yes, that's the stuff the waiter brings you with your napkin."

_When It Comes_
_We Shall Miss_
That appointment with an old business acquaintance.
Calendars from our favorite brewery.
Blotters from same.
Reunion dinners.
(a) College.
(b) Fraternity.
Scientific dissertations on the only non-refillable bottle.


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