"Having any success with your garden?"
"The best ever," replied Mr. Jagsby.
"What are you raising?"
"Nothing. But if I hadn't had a row with one of my new neighbors over
his chickens and then a reconciliation I might not have discovered
that he had a well-stocked cellar."
PROMOTERS
The man who was selling oil stock was asked if there were any
indications of oil where his company was drilling.
"Indications!" he said. "Why, I should say so. We have three thousand
acres leased, have a standard rig up, have three hundred feet of
casing on the ground and more ordered, have our company organized
and incorporated and a million shares of stock printed, have opened
offices in three cities, have two hundred people selling stock, are
only forty miles from a pipe line, and there was no oil found in those
other wells about there, so it must be in our well. Oh, we have plenty
of indications. How many shares do you want?"
"Pop, what is a promoter?"
"A promoter, my son, is a man who can make either a dollar or a penny
look like thirty cents."--_Life_.
PROMPTNESS
On the occasion of the death of a chief of one of the department
bureaus in Washington, a clerk in that bureau was dashing madly down
the street when he was stopped by a friend, who asked: "Why the deuce
are you in such a tearing hurry?"
"I am going," explained the clerk, "to the funeral of my chief, and
there is nothing he hates like unpunctuality.
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