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Stein, Gertrude, 1874-1946

"More Toasts"

That some should be rich shows that others
may become rich, and hence is just encouragement to industry and
enterprise. Let not him who is houseless pull down the house of
another, but let him work diligently and build one for himself, thus
by example assuring that his own shall be safe from violence when
built."--_Abraham Lincoln_.


PROPOSALS

"No," said the positive girl, "I will never tie myself down to one
man."
"Perhaps," he replied sarcastically, "if I organize a syndicate you
will consider our offer."

MERCHANT (to applicant for job)--"Sorry, but I only employ married
men."
APPLICANT-"Do you happen to have a daughter, sir?"

"I love you! I love you!" he murmured for the nineteenth time. "Speak!
Answer me!"
The maiden coyly hung her head.
"I--oh, Tom, this is so sudden!" she pleaded.
He drew her close to him.
"Don't be afraid, darling!" he said gently. "Would you like me to ask
your mother first?"
With a sudden cry of alarm she threw her arms around his neck.
"No, no!" she gasped. "Mother is a widow. I want you myself!"

"Yes, she rejected me, but she did it in a most encouraging way."
"How was that?"
"As I went away, she pointed to the footprints that I had made on the
carpet, and said: 'The next time you come to propose to me, I want you
to wipe your shoes clean!'"

Long had he worshipped her at a distance, but his shyness prevented
him from proposing.


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