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Stein, Gertrude, 1874-1946

"More Toasts"




PSYCHOLOGICAL MOMENT

We all "ketch" 'em at the psychological moment:
The doctor, when they think they are going to die.
The lawyer, when they think they are going to be sent to jail.
The dentist, when they think a tooth is going to blow off their heads.
The tax collector, when they think they are going to be sold out.
The garage man, when they think they are going to have a blow-out.
The captain, when they think the major is on their trail.
The undertaker, when they don't think any more!


PSYCHOLOGY

"Father," said the small boy, "what is psychology?"
"Psychology, my son, is a word of four syllables that you ring in to
distract attention when the explaining gets difficult."

A small boy seated on the curb by a telephone-pole, with a tin can by
his side, attracted the attention of an old gentleman who happened to
be passing.
"Going fishing?" he inquired, good-naturedly.
"Nope," the youngster replied. "Take a peek in there."
An investigation showed the can to be partly filled with caterpillars
of the tussock moth.
"What in the world are you doing with them?"
"They crawl up trees and eat off the leaves."
"So I understand."
"Well, I'm fooling a few of them.


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