'Tain't that. Ah's jes' translatin' the speech ah made las'
night."
CHAIRMAN (of public banquet)--"Gentlemen, before I introduce the next
speaker, there will be a short recess, giving you all a chance to go
out and stretch your legs."
GUEST--"Who is the next speaker?"
CHAIRMAN--"Before telling you who he is, I would rather wait until you
come back."--_Life_.
William Lyon Phelps, professor of English Literature at Yale, declares
he gets credit for only 25 per cent of the after-dinner speeches he
actually makes. "Every time I accept an invitation to speak, I really
make four addresses. First, is the speech I prepare in advance. That
is pretty good. Second, is the speech I really make. Third, is the
speech I make on the way home, which is the best of all; and fourth,
is the speech the newspapers next morning say I made, which bears no
relation to any of the others."
"What would be a good way to raise revenue and still benefit the
people?"
"Tax every speech made in this country."
"Many's de speech I has listened to," said Uncle Eben, "dat left me
wonderin' whether I was gettin' infohmation or entertainment."
A noted Frenchman, on visiting England was asked to speak at a
banquet.
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