"'Rastus,' the judge said to him, 'you are fined $5.'
"'Jedge,' said Rastus, 'Ah'm obliged to ye. Ah got dat five spot right
here in mah left-hand vest-pocket.'
"'Well,' continued the judge, 'just dig down in your right-hand
vest-pocket, Rastus, and see if you can find thirty days.'"
Mamie had been naughty and her mother finally had recourse to the
time-honored remedy in such cases.
"Mamma," she sobbed, "did Gran'ma spank you when you was little?"
"Yes, dear," said her mother, "she did when I was naughty."
"And did her mother spank her?"
"Yes."
"An" was she spanked, too, when she was bad?"
"Yes."
"Well, who started this blamed thing anyhow?"
"Judge," said the man at the bar, "there's no use of you trying to
square this thing up. My wife and I fight just so often and just so
long, and we can't help it. So there you are."
"And about how long do you keep it up?" asked the judge.
"About two weeks, judge."
"All right. I'll give you fifteen days in jail; in other words, you
are interned for the duration of the war."
VISITOR (comforting Tommy, who has upset a bottle of ink on the new
carpet)--"Never mind, my boy; no use to cry over spilled milk."
TOMMY (indignantly)--"Any dunce would know that.
Pages:
507
508
509
510
511
512
513
514
515
516
517
518
519
520
521
522
523
524
525
526
527
528
529
530
531