If it's milk that's
spilled all you have to do is to call the cat an' she'll lick it up
cleaner'n anything. But this ain't milk, an' mother'll do the lickin',
is what ails me."
"Quite a good epigram, that," said the tramp, who had been convicted
for vagrancy.
"What did he say?" asked the tramp's pal.
"Seven days."
"How d'you make that out an epigram?"
"Why," said the tramp, "I once asked a parson what an epigram was, and
he said 'It's a short sentence that sounds light, but gives you plenty
to think about.'"
PARSON WHITE--"Brudder Lamkins, how did yer son come outen de trial?"
BRO. LAMKINS--"De Jedge done give 'im two mumfs in de jayul."
PARSON WHITE--"'Pears ter me like as if you outer be pow'ful thankful.
He got off mighty light, he did."
BRO. LAMKINS--"'Twan't 's light's you seem to think. Dey's agwinter
hang 'im when de two mumfs is up."
"Rastus," said the judge sternly, "you're plain no-account and
shiftless, and for this fight I'm going to send you away for a year at
hard labor."
"Please, Jedge," interrupted Mrs. Rastus from the rear of the court
room, "will yo' Honah jes' kinder split dat sentence? Don't send him
away from home, but let dat hard labor stand.
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