"
A German spy caught redhanded was on his way to be shot.
"I think you English are brutes," he growled, "to march me through
this rain and slush."
"Well," said the "Tommy" who was escorting him, "what about me? I have
to go back in it."
_See also_ Marriage.
PUNS
"Have you a little fairy in your home?"
"No, but I have a little miss in my engine."
SMALL SCOUT--"Dad, what are the silent watches of the night?"
INDULGENT FATHER--"They are the ones which their owners forgot to
wind, my son."
"Here, boy," said the man to the boy who was helping him drive a bunch
of cattle, "hold this bull a minute, will you?"
"No," answered the boy, "I don't mind bein' a director in this
company, but I'm darned if I want to be a stockholder."
MA--"You've been drinking. I smell it in your breath." PA--"Not a
drop. I've been eating frog's legs. What you smell is the hops."
PROF.--"What happened to Babylon?"
FRESH.--"It fell."
PROF.--"What happened to Tyre?"
FRESH.--"It was punctured."
That was a good, though rather a severe pun, which was made by a
student in one of our theological seminaries (and he was not one
of the brightest of the class, either), when he asked, "Why is
Professor---- the greatest revivalist of the age?" and on all "giving
it up," said, "Because at the close of every sermon there is a 'Great
Awakening.
Pages:
509
510
511
512
513
514
515
516
517
518
519
520
521
522
523
524
525
526
527
528
529
530
531
532
533