SEARCH
0-9 A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Prev | Current Page 522 | Next

Stein, Gertrude, 1874-1946

"More Toasts"

'"


PURGATORY

MARMADUKE ISOLATE (of Lonelyville).--"Pa, what is Purgatory?"
MR. ISOLATE (wearily).--"Purgatory? Why, Purgatory is a sort of suburb
of Heaven."


QUAKERS

After a long essay on the Quakers, taken largely from the
encyclopedia, a Western schoolboy finished off with this original
thought. "Quakers never quarrel, never get into fights, and never
scratch." Then, seeking for a demonstration of the fact and a final
touch, he added: "Pa is a Quaker, but I kinda think that Ma isn't."


QUESTIONS

"You understand your duties thoroughly, don't you?" she said to the
new footman.
"Yes, ma'am, certainly, ma'am."
"And you know your way to announce?"
"Well, ma'am, I shouldn't perhaps like to go quite so far as that, but
I think I know my weight to a pound or so."

"Father, is the zebra a black animal with white stripes or a white
animal with black stripes?"

"Has Jobkins any money?" asked Hickenlooper.
"Oh, he must have," said Garroway.
"Oh, we all must have--but have we?" said Hickenlooper.

There is an elevator boy in a New York office building, who is among a
large number of public servants that resent needless questions.
One day there entered his car a rather fussy old lady, and garrulous
as well.


Pages:
510 511 512 513 514 515 516 517 518 519 520 521 522 523 524 525 526 527 528 529 530 531 532 533 534