"He's down in Washington, attendin' th' session o' some kind uv an
investigatin' committee," replied the office boy.
"Where is the general manager?"
"He's appearin' before th' Interstate Commerce Commission."
"Well, where's the general superintendent?"
"He's at th' meetin" of th' legislature, fightin' some bum new law."
"Where is the head of the legal department?"
"He's in court, tryin' a suit."
"Then where is the general passenger agent?"
"He's explainin' t' th' commercial travelers why we can't reduce th'
fare."
"Where is the general freight agent?"
"He's gone out in th' country t' attend a meeting o' th' grange an'
tell th' farmers why we ain't got no freight-cars."
"Who's running the blame railroad, anyway?"
"The newspapers and th' legislatures."
An old Cornish woman who had never before traveled by rail went to a
country station to catch a train. She sat herself down on a seat
in the station, and after sitting there for about two hours, the
station-master came up to her and asked where she was going. On her
telling him, he said:
"Why, my good woman, the train has just gone, and there isn't another
for a long time!"
"Why, lor'!" says the old lady, "I thought the whole consarn moved!"
"What good," asked the angry would-be passenger, "are the figures set
down in these railway time-tables?"
"Why," patiently explained the genial agent, "if it weren't for them
figures we'd have no way of findin' out how late the train is.
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