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Stein, Gertrude, 1874-1946

"More Toasts"

He makes ninety miles
an hour."
HANK--"Some car! What's he want of such a speed demon?"
STEVE--"He's gotta have it when he's advertising his development as
being five minutes from the station."

A house-hunter, getting off a train at a suburban station, said to a
boy standing near:
"My boy, I am looking for Mr. Smith's new block of semi-detached
houses. How far are they from here?"
"About twenty minutes' walk," said the boy.
"Twenty minutes!" exclaimed the house-hunter. "Nonsense! The
advertisement said five."
"Well," replied the boy, "yer kin believe me or the advertisement,
whichever yer want. But I ain't tryin' to make no sale."

"Look here, you swindler!" roared the owner of the suburban property
to the real-estate man. "When you sold me this house, didn't you say
that in three months I wouldn't part with it for $10,000?"
"Certainly," said the real-estate dealer calmly, "and you haven't,
have you?"


REALISM

Things that are what they appear to be are so rare that one cannot
tell them when one sees them.


RECOMMENDATIONS

"Eh-yah! Young Doc. Purt is a pretty good doctor," admitted the
landlord of the Petunia tavern, in reply to the inquiry of a guest who
felt the need of a physician's advice.


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