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Stein, Gertrude, 1874-1946

"More Toasts"

"In spite of all the money he's
spent for electrical apparatus and the fact that he wears one of
these 'ere three-cornered vanduct beards, there have been no unusually
distressing deaths in our midst during the six months he has been with
us."

The applicant for the job of office-boy presented his credentials in
a manner that bespoke his entire confidence that the position would be
his. The sour-looking old gentleman at the head of the establishment
read the paper carefully and then surveyed the boy searchingly.
"It is certainly a very nice thing for you to have these
recommendations from the minister of your church and your
Sunday-school teacher," said he, "and I must admit that you look
honest. All the same, I'd like to have a few words from someone that
knows you on week-days."--_Harper's_.

"You say you have good references?"
"Yes, ma'am. I have over a 'undred splendid references."
"And how long have you been in domestic service?"
"Two years, ma'am."

A prominent New England educator tells of a Chinese cook in Manila
who was innocently carrying about a reference, written by a saturnine
Englishman, with which he expected to secure a good position. The
reference read as follows:
"This man cooked for me six months; it seemed much longer.


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