"'How do you know ours will be the winning side?' asked a prospective
recruit.
"'Well, my lad,' said the sergeant, 'you know the Germans have been
trying for more than a year and a half to win and have failed, don't
you?"
"'Yes,' replied the questioner.
"'Well, then, we've been trying to lose during the same period and we
couldn't.'"
United States Senator Howard Sutherland, of West Virginia, tells a
story about a mountain youth who visited a recruiting-office in the
Senator's State for the purpose of enlisting in the regular Army. The
examining physician found the young man as sound as a dollar, but that
he had flat feet.
"I'm sorry," said the physician, "but I'll have to turn you down.
You've got flat feet."
The mountaineer looked sorrowful. "No way for me to git in it, then?"
he inquired.
"I guess not. With those flat feet of yours you wouldn't be able to
march even five miles."
The youth from the mountains studied a moment. Finally he said: "I'll
tell you why I hate this so darned bad. You see, I walked nigh on
to one hundred and fifteen miles over the mountains to git here, and
gosh, how I hate to walk back!"
RECRUITING OFFICER--"What's the good of coming here and saying you're
only seventeen years old! Go and walk around that yard and come back
and see if you're not nineteen.
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