"
"What's that piece of cord tied around your finger for?"
"My wife put it there to remind me to post a letter."
"And did you post it?"
"No; she forgot to give it to me."
CONDUCTOR--"Do you mind if I put your bag out of the way, sir? People
coming in are falling over it."
TRAVELER--"You leave it where it is. If nobody falls over it I shall
forget it's there."
REPARTEE
"Pa, what is repartee?"
"Oh, merely an insult with its dress-suit on, my son."--_Puck_.
FIRST STUDENT--"The idea; my napkin is damp!"
SECOND STUDENT--"Perhaps that's because there is so much due on your
board."
The big man with the I-know-it-all expression sneeringly watched the
little man who was eating from a sack of peanuts.
"Down where I come from we use peanuts to fatten hogs," remarked the
big man.
"That so?" asked the little man. "Here, have some."
EINSTEIN--"I hear you already, and I dinks you vas talking to
yourself."
ROSENBERG--"You vas a liar and a scoundrel! Do you hear dot?"
"What would you say," began the voluble prophet, "if I were to tell
you that in a very short space of time all the rivers will dry up?"
"I would say," replied the patient man, "go thou and do likewise.
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