"
"I'm tired of always being the goat!"
"Then, why don't you stop butting in?"
"Oh, say, who was here to see you last night?"
"Only Myrtle, father."
"Well, tell Myrtle that she left her pipe on the piano."
"Willie, your master's report of your work is very bad. Do you know
that when Woodrow Wilson was your age he was head of the school?"
"Yes, pa; and when he was your age he was President of the United
States."
"You are an angel."
"I guess that's right. An angel has but one gown and for her the
styles never change."
A stern old preacher had issued to his people a command against
dancing, believing it to be a device of the devil.
A few of the young people disobeyed and attended a dance given at a
neighboring town. Finally it reached the ears of the preacher, and,
meeting one of the culprits on the street one morning, he said in a
stern voice:
"Good morning, child of the devil!"
"Good morning, father!" smilingly answered the pretty miss.
CUSTOMER--"The price of these shoes seems high. Wasn't there something
said about a movement to have it reduced?"
CLERK--"Yes--but it's not on foot yet."
UNCLE SILAS (visiting city relatives who use electrical appliances for
cooking at the table)--"Well, I swan! You make fun of us for eatin' in
the kitchen.
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