"Who was it, Willie?"
"Mister Roosevelt."
RUINS
An English nobleman was about to set out for India, and, fearing that
in his absence vandals might destroy a picturesque ruin on his estate,
he said to his steward: "I want you to build a wall here"--he drew a
tiny furrow with his stick around the ruin--"a stone wall five feet
high."
On his return home the nobleman started for the spot. When he reached
it he rubbed his eyes in amazement. There was the new stone wall, but
he could see nothing towering up inside of it. He turned excitedly to
his steward:
"Look here, where's the ruin, man?"
"The ruin, my lord?" replied the steward. "Oh, that ould thing! Sure,
I used it to build the wall with."
RUMMAGE SALES
"Oh, John," sobbed Mrs. John, "I've done something awful, and I'm
almost afraid to tell you--but I must! I made a most awful mistake
this morning and sent your new dress suit to the rummage sale instead
of your old one, and when I found out what I had done and ran over to
get it back, it had been sold."
"That's all right, Mabel, dear," said John amiably. "I stopped in at
the sale myself and bought it back for thirty-five cents."
SACRIFICES
"George, where are your school-books?"
"When notices appeared that books were wanted for the wounded, I gave
mine to them.
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