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Stein, Gertrude, 1874-1946

"More Toasts"

"


SALESMEN AND SALESMANSHIP

"Hey, what did you go and sell them apples fer?"
"Ain't they fer sale?"
"No. Them was the samples we take out to our automobile customers."

"Who," asked the officiating clergyman, formally but impressively,
"gives this bride away?"
"I--I was to," stammered her father, "but I've been a retail salesman
too long to give anything away. Let somebody else do it."

PROSPECTIVE SALESMAN (to sales-manager who has advertised for a
salesman)--"I'm answering your ad in today's paper."
SALES MANAGER--"Had much experience?"
PROSPECTIVE SALESMAN (confidently)--"Yes, sir. I've sold most
everything in my time."
SALES MANAGER--"Then try selling me your services!" Mr. Babcock was
driving through the country, trying to buy a mule. He was directed to
a colored man who had one for sale.
"Do you want to sell a mule?" asked Babcock.
"Yaas, sah," replied the owner. "May I ask whar yo' live, sah?"
"What has that got to do with it?" queried Babcock.
"Well," explained the negro, "I ain't gwine ter transfer dat mule to
nobody dat lives less dan two hundred miles away from here. When I
sells that mule I wants to git rid not only of de mule, but of all
conversation appertainin' to him.


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