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Stein, Gertrude, 1874-1946

"More Toasts"

"

"Mr. Smith, I represent the Stygian Life Insurance Company. I know
you don't want to talk to me or listen to me; I know you have all the
insurance you feel able to pay for. I am not here to tell you your
chances of dying tonight, or of being hit by an automobile on leaving
this building; neither shall I try to convince you that my company can
offer you anything more than any other well-managed, long-established
concern. I shall not pretend that I am especially interested in your
welfare and wish to do you a service. I am trying to make a living.
Here is a blank application. You do not need to say any of the
commonplaces. Good day, Mr. Smith.
"Ah, you have signed it. Permit me to insert the amount--say $25,000.
Our doctor will call on you tomorrow at 12:01. Thank you, Mr. Smith.
Yes; I am using a new method. The idea came from the Four Minute
speakers. Haven't lost a prospect yet. But my time is up. I shall
deliver your policy in person, but that takes only one minute under
the new system. Good-bye."

"I don't think I'll buy the house, but I've enjoyed the ride out here.
You run a good car."
"Yes, I'm agent for this make. Can I book your order?"

Keep hollering--
There's somebody
Somewhere that'll
Want what you've
Got sometime!

That clerk you all know died and approached the pearly gates.


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