"--_Puck_.
_"Orders Is Orders"_
One of the traveling salesmen breezed back from a short trip.
"How's business?" grunted the manufacturer.
"Fine," beamed the agent.
Manufacturer reached for the "good-business" cigars.
"How fine?"
"Got two good orders," the agent said.
"Ah-ha," grinned the boss. "Who were they from?"
"One," came the reply, "was from Mr.---- of---- &---- who ordered me
to 'Get out,' and the other was from his partner who ordered me to
'Stay out.'"
_See also_ Booksellers and bookselling; Mistakes.
SALVATION
An evangelist was exhorting his hearers to flee from the wrath to
come. "I warn you," he thundered, "there will be weeping and wailing
and gnashing of teeth."
At this point an old woman of the congregation stood up.
"Sir, I have no teeth."
"Madam," returned the preacher sternly, "teeth will be provided."
SAVING
SON--"Dad, what is a savings account?"
FATHER--"A savings account is that part of a man's income which the
government takes after permitting him to pay for the necessities of
life."
_See also_ Economy; Thrift.
SCANDAL
"Yes, it cost me ten thousand dollars to have my family-tree looked
up, and five thousand dollars more to have it hushed up.
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