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Stein, Gertrude, 1874-1946

"More Toasts"


"Oh, God," he groaned, "I hope that's blood!"

During the fighting a Highlander had the misfortune to get his head
blown off.
A comrade communicated the sad news to another gallant Scot, who
asked, anxiously:
"Where's his head? He was smoking ma pipe."

A Scottish emigrant on his arrival at Montreal, stopped for a moment
to examine a coat hanging in front of a clothing store, when the
proprietor asked him if he would not try on a coat.
"I dinna ken but I wad," responded the emigrant, consulting his watch;
and he went in and set to work. No matter how often he found a fit,
he tried on another and another till he tried on about thirty. Then,
again looking at his watch, he resumed his own garment and walked off
saying:
"Weel, I've lost time, nae doot, but hang the fellow that'll no'
obleege anither when he can!"

Three Scotchmen were in church one Sunday morning when the minister
made a strong appeal for some very worthy cause, hoping that every one
in the congregation would give at least one dollar or more. The three
Scots became very nervous as the collection plate neared them, when
one of them fainted and the other two carried him out.

Scotchmen are proverbial for their caution.


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