Mr. MacTavish attended a christening where the hospitality of the host
knew no bounds except the several capacities of the guests. In the
midst of the celebration Mr. MacTavish rose up and made rounds of the
company, bidding each a profound farewell.
"But, Sandy, man," objected the host, "ye're not going yet, with the
evenin' just started?"
"Nay," said the prudent MacTavish. "I'm no' goin' yet. But I'm tellin'
ye good-night while I know ye all."
A Scotchman was strolling through the market-place one day with his
faithful collie at his heels. Attracted by a fine display of shell and
other fish, the Scot stopped to admire, perhaps to purchase. The
dog stood by gently wagging its tail while its master engaged the
fishmonger in conversation.
Unfortunately for the dog, its tail dropped for a moment over a big
basketful of fine live lobsters. Instantly one of the largest lobsters
snapt its claws on the tail and the surprised collie dashed off
through the market, yelping with pain, while the lobster hung on
grimly, tho dashed violently from side to side. The fishmonger for
a moment was speechless with indignation. Then turning to his
prospective customer, he bawled:
"Mon, mon! whustle to yer dog! Whustle to yer dog!"
"Hoot, mon," returned the other, complacently, "whustle to yer
lobster!"
SEASICKNESS
"My dear old fellow! What's the matter? The sea's like a duck-pond!"
"I know, old boy--but I've taken six--different--remedies.
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