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Stein, Gertrude, 1874-1946

"More Toasts"

"--_Punch_.

The Chief Justice while presiding over the Supreme Court at Washington
took the several Justices of the Court for a run down Chesapeake Bay.
A stiff wind sprang up, and Justice Gray was getting decidedly the
worst of it. As he leaned over the rail in great distress the Chief
Justice touched him on the shoulder and said in a tone of deepest
sympathy:
"Is there anything I can do for you, Gray?"
"No, thank you," returned the sick Justice, "unless your Honor can
overrule this motion."

An amateur sailor was making his first trip across the Atlantic, and
was in the throes of the _mal de mer_ when the ship's surgeon came
across him.
"What's the matter?" was the doctor's callous query.
"O-o-oh!" was the only response as the young man rolled over in agony.
"Come, get up," derided the surgeon, grinning unfeelingly. "The ship's
been torpedoed and will sink in ten minutes."
"Ten minutes?" the sick man protested feebly. "Can't you make it any
sooner?"

"How was the trip over?" I asked one of our returning soldiers.
"Rough as thunder," was the reply.
"Did they feed you well?" I asked.
"Six meals a day," he said.
"Six?" I echoed.
"Yes," was the laughing reply; "three down and three up.


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