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Stein, Gertrude, 1874-1946

"More Toasts"

"

A New York man was crossing the Atlantic with an army officer who
suffered greatly from sea-sickness.
On entering the stateroom one particularly rough day, he found the
officer tossing in his berth, muttering in what at first appeared to
be a sort of delirium.
Stooping over to catch his words, the friend heard him say: "Sergeant
... major ... sergeant ... major ... brigadier-general ... ugh,
_lieutenant_-general ... a-a-ah!"
"What are you saying?" asked the friend in some alarm, as the sufferer
looked piteously up at him after his last gasping "a-a-ah!"
"Assigning the waves their rank," said the military man, rolling
toward the wall again. "There have been eight lieutenant-generals
within the last twenty minutes."

CHRISTIAN SCIENTIST--"Nothing is ever lost! Everything in the universe
is in its right place at the right time!"
MAN FROM MISSOURI--"Have you never been seasick?"

The ocean liner was rolling like a chip, but as usual in such
instances one passenger was aggressively, disgustingly healthy.
"Sick, eh?" he remarked to a pale-green person who was leaning on the
rail.
The pale-green person regarded the healthy one with all the scorn he
could muster.


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