"Sick nothing!" he snorted weakly. "I'm just hanging
over the front of the boat to see how the captain cranks it!"
SECRETS
"Can you keep a secret, Peggy?"
"I can; but it's just my luck to tell things to other girls who
can't."
ALICE--"I thought you could keep a secret."
MABEL--"Well, I kept it for a week. Do you think I'm a cold-storage
plant?"
JACK--"Did you tell her that what you said was in strict confidence?"
ETHEL--"No; I don't want her to think it was important enough to
repeat."
CRAWFORD--"I see that the Ku Klux are going to admit women members."
CRABSHAW--"Why, I thought it was a secret society."
It is said that an ancient Chinese sage who lived in the second
century was offered a bribe. His silence being accepted as hesitation,
he was assured that he was perfectly safe, as no one knew it. He
replied:
"Heaven knows, it. Earth knows it. You know it. I know it. How can you
say that no one knows it?"
SELF-MADE MEN
"Yes, sir," said the trust magnate, proudly, "I am the architect of my
own fortune."
"Well," rejoined the friendly critic, "all I've got to say is that
it's a lucky thing for you there were no building inspectors around
when you were constructing it.
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