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Stein, Gertrude, 1874-1946

"More Toasts"

"


SENATE

FORWARDLOOKER--"The Senate has a plan to settle labor disputes."
CYNIC--"If labor would devise a plan for settling Senate disputes, we
might have peace."

The more we read about the Senate the more we understand the word
"jazz."


SENATORS

"What is your position on this great question?"
"My position," replied Senator Sorghum, "is somewhat like that of a
tight-rope walker. I don't want to stop to argue or show off. What I
want to do is to get across to solid ground."

"The interrogation 'Where did you get it?' causes me much less
apprehension," confessed Senator Smugg, "than the feeling that some
day the public may learn the answer to the question 'Where did you put
it?'"--_Puck_.


SENSE OF HUMOR

SCHOOL SUPERINTENDENT (cross-questioning the terrified class)--"And
now I want you boys to tell me who wrote 'Hamlet.'"
FRIGHTENED BOY--"P-p-please, sir, it-it wasn't me."
That same evening the superintendent was talking to his host, the
squire of the village. The superintendent said:
"Most amusing thing happened today. I was questioning the class over
at the school, and I asked a boy who wrote 'Hamlet.' He answered
tearfully, 'P-p-please, sir, it wasn't me.


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