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Stein, Gertrude, 1874-1946

"More Toasts"


There is only a slight clearance between sides of cars and
signal-towers.
IF YOU EXPECT TO SEE THE NEXT BLOCK KEEP YOURS INSIDE.
There was another one worded as follows:
YOUR HEAD MAY BE HARD
But not so hard as Bridges and Tunnel Arches.
Railway company will hold you responsible for damages to bridges and
tunnels and signal-towers--they are not insured.
KEEP YOUR BLOCK INSIDE
And yet another:
Huns are waiting.
Trenches ahead.
Speed up.
You won't if you ride on top of or stick your head out of cars.
KEEP YOUR IVORY IN!

HEALTH OFFICER MOONEY--"Y'r Honor, Oi think that humorist should be
prohibited from givin' his lecture in the opera house tomorrow night,
sor!"
MAYOR OF TOWN--"Why so, Mooney? Is it immoral?"
HEALTH OFFICER MOONEY--"Not immoral, sor; but they say his humor is
contagious!"


SENTRIES

_See_ Armies.


SERMONS

_See_ Preaching.


SERVANTS

MISTRESS--"Bridget, I'm tired of your carelessness. Only look at that
dust on the furniture. It's six weeks old at the very least."
BRIDGET--"Shure, it's no fault av moine. Oi've been here only t'ree
weeks."

While Willie and his mother were walking along the street, they passed
an employment agency with this sign in the window: "Colored Help
Supplied.


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