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Stein, Gertrude, 1874-1946

"More Toasts"

' Here are some of the most laughable ones
mentioned:
"Movie theater sign:
"'Watch Your Wife'
Every Night This Week."
--_Albany Argus_.
"Sign in front of Harlem movie theater:
"'Mother, I Need You
for Three Days
Beginning Nov. 30'."

"Sign in front of movie house:
"'Geraldine Farrar, supported for the first time by her husband'."
--_Columbus (O.) Citizen_.

"This seems to be a very dangerous precipice," remarked the tourist.
"I wonder that they have not put up a warning-board!"
"Yes," answered the guide, "it is dangerous. They kept a warning-board
up for two years, but no one fell over, so it was taken down."

Mr. Roberts, a banker in a Western town, was very bald and was in the
habit of wearing his hat in the bank during business hours. Every week
a negro employee of the bank presented a check and drew his wages.
One day, as he was putting the money in a worn and greasy wallet, the
banker chanced to pass by, and asked, "Look here, John, why don't you
let some of that money stay in the bank and keep an account with us?"
"Well, sah," replied the negro, leaning toward the banker and gazing
curiously at the Panama hat he wore, "I'se always afeared.


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