Now what does that
word mean to you, children?" One little girl stands up, smooths out
her frock, straightens her bow, folds her hands, and, being properly
adjusted to recite, exclaims: "Sociology is a science that teaches you
how to sew."
SOLDIERS
Noah would have saved future soldiers a lot of trouble if he had
swatted those two cooties when they marched up the gang plank of the
ark.
SOUND
Sound travels at the rate of 400 yards per second.
Exceptions to this rule:
Scandal: 1,000 yards.
Flattery: 500 yards.
Truth: 2-1/2 yards.
Alarm-clock:----?
SOUVENIRS
Secretary of State Lansing slipped out of the council chamber and went
souvenir hunting in the palace. Luck was with him, he said, for he
found a remarkable piece of antique wall-paper.
Next day a frantic Japanese stenographer was looking for his shorthand
notes.
SPECULATION
"My wife watches the sugar market closely."
"Speculating?"
"In a small way. She borrows when it's high and pays back when it's
low."
The old millionaire and his beautiful bride, after their quiet
wedding, had a quiet wedding breakfast _a deux_. Astrakhan
caviar, eggs pompadour, a truffled chicken, fresh California peas,
champagne--so the quiet breakfast ran.
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