"My dear," said the old millionaire, as the fruit course, a superb
Florida melon, came on, "tell me, dear"--and he laid his withered hand
on her young one--"do you love me for what I am or for what I was?"
The beautiful girl smiled down from the window into the admiring
eyes of a young clubman who was passing; then she bent her clear,
considering gaze on the gray ruin opposite and replied:
"I love you, George, for what you will be."
HARPER--"Foozle has a great scheme and he invited me 'to get in on the
ground floor.'"
CARPER--"Don't forget that that is where the trap-doors are."
HEWITT--"Don't you think I stand a good chance of making a fortune out
of that mine?"
JEWITT--"Out of it, yes. In it, no."
SPEED
Spurr, the keeper of the livery stable, would never allow a horse out
of his sight without giving the hirer strict injunctions not to drive
fast.
One day a caller asked for a horse to attend a funeral.
"Certainly," said Spurr, and then, forgetting the solemn purpose for
which his customer wanted the horse, he added, as usual, "Don't drive
fast!"
"Look here, old man," was the reply, "I would like you to understand
that I shall keep up with the procession if it kills the horse!"
INQUIRER (at South Station)--"Where does this train go?"
BRAKEMAN--"This train goes to New York in ten minutes.
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