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Stein, Gertrude, 1874-1946

"More Toasts"

"
INQUIRER--"Goodness! That's going some!"

With but three minutes to catch his train, the traveling salesman
inquired of the street-car conductor, "Can't you go faster than this?"
"Yes," the bell-ringer replied, "but I have to stay with my car."

"I was out over the speedway today, and in thirty seconds I did a mile
in four laps."
"That's nothing. I know a young lady who did thirty miles in one
lap, and she would have done more if I hadn't got a cramp in my
knees."--_Puck_.

A negro was on the stand in an Alabama courthouse testifying to the
details of a shooting scrape. The witness told how the prisoner at
the bar drew a revolver and began firing at one George Henry, and how
Henry ran to save himself.
"You say Henry ran?" interjected the lawyer for the defense.
"Dat's whut I said."
"You are sure he ran?"
"Sho" is!"
"Well, did he run fast?"
"Did he run fa--Say, boss, ef dat nigger had o' had one feather in his
hand he'd o' flew."


SPELLING

If an S and an I, and an O and a U,
With an X at the end spell "su,"
And an E and a Y and an E spell I,
Pray what is a speller to do?
Then if an S and an I and a G
And an H E D spell "side,"
There's nothing much for a speller to do
But go commit siouxeyesighed.


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