"
He say "Not coo," but in zat word,
O-u-g-h is 'off'
Oh, Sacre bleu! such varied sounds
Of words makes me hiccough!
He say "Again mon frien' ees wrong;
O-u-g-h is 'up'
In hiccough." Zen I cry, "No more,
You make my t'roat feel rough."
"Non, non!" he cry, "you are hot right;
O-u-g-h is 'uff.'"
I say, "I try to spik your words,
I cannot spik zem though!"
"In time you'll learn, but now you're wrong!
O-u-g-h is 'owe.'"
"I'll try no more, I s'all go mad,
I'll drown me in ze lough!"
"But ere you drown yourself," said he,
"O-u-g-h is 'ock'."
He taught no more, I held him fast,
And killed him wiz a rough.
--_Charles Battell Loomis_.
"Pa, what's phonetic spelling?"
"It's a way of spelling that I often got whipped for when I was your
age."
"I say, Hodge, why do you always put 'dictated' on your letters? You
don't keep a stenographer."
"No; but to tell the truth, old chap, my spelling's exceedingly
rocky."
"And what did my little son learn about this morning?"
"Oh, a mouse. Miss Wilcox told us all about mouses."
"That's the boy! Now, how do you spell 'mouse'?"
It was then that Arthur gave promise of being an artful dodger.
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