'"
There is nothing like a good definition, as the teacher thought when
he explained the meaning of "old maid," as a woman who had been made a
long time.
STAMMERING
They were going home from school.
"Teacher said that that that that that girl used was superfluous."
"Here's the first pupil for my stammering school," said the business
man as he introduced himself.
STAMPS
At the post-office a little girl deposited a dime in front of the
clerk and said: "Please, I forgot the name of the stamp mama told me
to get, but it's the kind that makes a letter hurry up."
STATISTICS
"If a man had put a hundred dollars in a savings bank twenty years
ago," said the statistician after dinner, "it would amount to over two
hundred now, and he could buy almost as much for it now as he could
have got for the original hundred at the time he began to save."
STENOGRAPHERS
"How many stenographers have you?"
"Two."
"I've seen only one of them."
"Well, I've got a worse looking one to show my wife."
"I met your husband today and he was telling me that he is in love
with his work."
"Was he, indeed? I must take a look in at the office."
_A Long-Merited Toast_
I used to toast the royal queens
And queens of beauty rare;
I drained my glass to lovely lass
And to her eyes and hair;
But in these day of sober drinks
There's one whose health to me
Means vastly more than beauty or
The blood of royalty:
Here's to my stenographer!
Long faithful to her duty.
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