"
EMPLOYER--"There's a spirit of unrest among my men."
VISITOR--"What about?"
EMPLOYER--"Because they can not find any excuse to go out on a
strike."--_Judge_.
SUBSTITUTES
Speaking of substitutes for gasoline, there is the street-car ticket.
"Neurasthenia," said Mrs. Biggums to her cook, "I think we will have
some chicken croquettes today out of that leftover pork and calves'
liver."
"Yes'm," said Neurasthenia, called Teeny for short. "An' we got a
little bread dressin' what went wid the pork, mum. Shall I make some
apple sauce out'n hit, mum?"
A very pretty young woman had been asked to dinner by the mother of a
young man who admired her very much.
While waiting for dinner to be announced the four-year-old niece
of the young man came into the room and climbed into the lap of her
uncle, of whom she seemed very fond.
The young lady said coaxingly: "Come, Mary, give me a kiss"; but the
child hid her face on her uncle's arm. The young woman urged the child
to come to her, saying again: "Won't you give me a kiss?"
The little girl said: "No, I don't want to." Then she brightened up
and said: "Uncle Fred, you do it."
"Your honor," said the prosecuting attorney, "your bull pup has went
and chawed up the court Bible.
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