"
HER MOTHER--"My daughter sings, plays the piano, paints, understands
botany, zoology, French, Italian--in fact is accomplished in every
way. And you, sir?"
PROSPECTIVE SON-IN-LAW--"Well, in an emergency I suppose I could cook
a little and mend the socks."
SUMMER RESORTS
"We are taking in boarders this summer."
"Have they found it out yet?"
SUNDAY
The solemn Sabbath air was wracked by strident cries from "de gang,"
engaged in a game of one-eyed cat. Finally the good lady of the house
ventured a protest and suggestion.
"Boys," she said, "don't you know that it is Sunday and you mustn't
play ball in the front-yard? Go in the back-yard and play, if you
must."
"Hey, youse!" yelled the leader to his followers. "Come on in the
back-yard. It ain't Sunday there."
_Sunday the Thirteenth_
Must the new morn
Be a Blue morn?
Must we backward turn to find
The kind of day
To while away
The stalwart modern mind?
Must the Sun day
Be the one day
When the sun is banned to all?
Must our play day
Be a gray day
Locked behind a prison wall?
Must the rest day
Be a pest day?
Must we bore ourselves to death
By boding ill
From sitting still
To curb each merry breath?
Must the feast day
Be the least day,
Robbed of all the things we'd seek?
Must our proud day
Be a shroud day
With rehearsals once a week?
--_Mabel Haughton Collyer_.
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