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Stein, Gertrude, 1874-1946

"More Toasts"

"I hate to see the women standing."


SYNONYMS

TEACHER--"Hawkins, what is a synonym?"
HAWKINS--"Please, sir, it's a word you use in place of another when
you cannot spell the other one."


TACT

"I must say these are fine biscuits!" exclaimed the young husband.
"How could you say those are fine biscuits?" inquired the young wife's
mother, in a private interview.
"I didn't say they were fine. I merely said I must say so."

Johnny liked ice-cream, but he drew the line at turning the freezer.
One day when his mother returned home she was agreeably surprized to
find him working away at the crank as tho his life depended on it.
"I don't see how you got him to turn the freezer," she said to her
husband; "I offered him a dime to do it."
"You didn't go at it in the right way, my dear," replied the husband.
"I bet him a nickel he couldn't turn it for half an hour."

MRS. X.--"Bothered with time-wasting callers, are you? Why don't you
try my plan?"
MRS. Y.--"What is your plan?"
MRS. X.--"Why, when the bell rings, I put on my hat and gloves before
I press the button. If it proves to be some one I don't want to see, I
simply say 'So sorry, but I'm just going out.


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