"Will you mend it?"
"Yes," said the jeweler, "at the price."
"Well," remarked Tommy, smiling, "I gave a German a punch on the nose
for it, and I'm quite ready to give you two if you'll mend it."
An old lady who had been introduced to a doctor who was also a
professor in a university, felt somewhat puzzled as to how she would
address the great man.
"Shall I call you 'doctor' or 'professor'?" she asked.
"Oh! just as you wish," was the reply; "as a matter of fact, some
people call me an old idiot."
"Indeed," she said, sweetly, "but then, they are people that know
you."
The hostess had trouble in getting Mr. Harper to sing. After the song
had been given, she came up with a smiling face to her guest, and made
the ambiguous remark:
"Now, Mr. Harper, you must never tell me again that you can not
sing--I know now!"
THE HOST--"It's beginning to rain; you'd better stay to dinner."
THE GUEST--"Oh, thanks very much; but it's not bad enough for that."
TALKERS
Words are like leaves, and where they most abound,
Much fruit of sense beneath is rarely found.
--_Pope_.
"I have just heard of a woman who went to a hotel unaccompanied and
discovered that the acoustic properties of her room were such that
every time she spoke aloud there was an echo.
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