Booth wrote back, "Sir, there is no
door into my theater through which God can not see."
AUNT MARY (visiting in the city)--"I want to hear at least one of your
famous grand-opera singers and then see some of your leading actors."
NEPHEW (to office boy)--"Jimmy, get us some tickets for the vaudeville
and movies."--_Life_.
THERMOMETER
Hotel men cannot be niggardly. They must not imitate old Cornelius
Husk. Old Corn Husk, you know, saw his boy the other day carrying the
thermometer from the kitchen out into the yard.
"Watcha doin' wi' thet thar thermometer, boy?" he asked.
"I wanter git the difference in temperacher, pop, betwixt inside and
outside," the son answered.
"Wall, quit it," snapped old Corn Husk, "Keepin' the mercury runnin'
up and down the tube like that, fust thing ye know the durn
thing'll be worn out, and long'll go twenty-five cents for another
thermometer."
THIEVES
He was a very small boy, and the apples he was eyeing were very large.
He eyed them for ten minutes, longingly and furtively, while the
greengrocer bustled about serving customers. Now he edged near the
tempting basket. Now he edged away again. And at last the greengrocer
thought it time to intervene.
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