One Hoyt was fishing from the banks of a stream when there approached
him an individual named Gates, who remarked, with a yawn: "Time ain't
very valuable to you, brother, that's plain. Here I been a-watchin'
you three hours and you ain't had a bite."
"Well," drawled the fisherman, "my time's too valuable, anyhow, to
waste three hours of it watchin' a feller fish that ain't gettin' a
bite."
Uncle Lige bought a clock, so tall that it was almost impossible to
get it into the house. The old man was extremely proud of it, and
found it very good company. He would lie awake nights to hear it tick.
One night the clock got out of order, and began to strike.
The old man awoke and counted one hundred and two. He promptly sat up
in bed, and calling to his wife said, "Cynthy, get up, get up. It's
later than I've ever knowed it to be."
PROF (in geology)--"The geologist thinks nothing of a thousand years."
SOPH--"Great guns! And I loaned a geologist ten dollars yesterday!"
"Paw, what's the longest period of time?"
"From one pay-day to the next."
CALLER--"Is your mother at home, Elsie?"
CHILD OF BUSY WAR WORKER--"Goodness, no! She won't be at home
today until about Saturday.
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