Why, she hasn't got home yesterday
yet."--_Life_.
FIRST LOAFER--"I 'ear all the men 'ave gone on strike."
SECOND LOAFER--"Wat 'ave they struck for?"
FIRST LOAFER--"Shorter hours."
SECOND LOAFER--"I always said as 'ow sixty minutes was too long for an
hour."
"Time is precious," said the parson.
"It is, indeed," rejoined the business man, "and I've wasted an awful
lot of it."
"By indulging in foolish pleasures, I suppose?" suggested the good
man.
"Not exactly," replied the other. "I wasted most of it by being
punctual in keeping my appointments with others."
_See also_ Daylight saving.
TIPS
The sailor had been showing the lady visitor over the ship. In
thanking him she said:
"I see that by the rules of your ship tips are forbidden."
"Lor' bless yer 'eart, ma'am," replied Jack, "so were the apples in
the Garden of Eden."
Tipping is said to be due to public weakness and it is also due to the
desire to have luncheon served in time for dinner.
LUNCHER--"Look here, waiter, I'm very sorry, but I've only just
sufficient money with me to pay the bill, and nothing left for a tip
for you."
WAITER (confidently)--"Would you mind just letting me 'ave another
look at the bill, sir?"
He was dining alone and had much time to puzzle over an unusual
phenomenon he had noted.
Pages:
616
617
618
619
620
621
622
623
624
625
626
627
628
629
630
631
632
633
634
635
636
637
638
639
640