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Stein, Gertrude, 1874-1946

"More Toasts"

Another victim of that terrible war.
Here's a dollar. Tell me how you got into these straits."
TRAMP-"I was going to say that I was at the front door an' nobody
answered, so I came around to the back. Thankee, mum."

MRS. SUBBUBS (to tramp)--"Out of work, are you? Then you're just in
time. I've a cord of wood to be cut up and I was just going to send
for a man to do it."
TRAMP--"That so, mum? Where does he live? I'll go and get him."

BOXCAR HARRY--"Beg pardon, ma'am, but do you happen to have some pie
or cake that you could spare an unfortunate wanderer?"
LADY OF THE HOUSE--"No, I'm afraid not. Wouldn't some bread and butter
do?"
BOXCAR HARRY--"As a general rule it would, ma'am; but, you see, this
is my birthday."


TRAVELERS

A party of tourists were going through a small town, having the time
of their lives, laughing and joking. One of them thought she would
have some fun, and called to a little girl standing near, "Are there
any shows in town?" To which the little girl answered, "Only the one
you people are making."

The value of travel oftentimes depends upon who travels.
Mrs. Williams, who had recently returned from abroad, was attending an
afternoon tea given in her honor.


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