"And did you actually go to Rome?" asked the hostess.
"I really don't know, my dear," replied Mrs. Williams. "You see, my
husband always bought the tickets."
_See also_ Americans; Destination.
TREES
I think that I shall never see
A poem lovely as a tree.
A tree whose hungry mouth is prest
Against the earth's most flowing breast.
A tree that looks at God all day
And lifts her leafy arms to pray;
A tree that may in summer wear
A nest of robins in her hair;
Upon whose bosom snow has lain;
Who intimately lives with rain.
Poems are made by fools like me,
But only God can make a tree.
--_Joyce Kilmer_.
TRENCHES
CHEERFUL ONE (to newcomer, on being asked what the trenches are
like)--"If yer stands up yer get sniped; if yer keeps down yer gets
drowned; if yer moves about yer gets shelled; and if yer stands still
yer gets court-martialed for frost-bite."--_Punch_.
TROUBLE
The cheery caller tried to persuade old Aunt Martha not to dwell upon
her troubles, telling her she would feel happier if she ignored them.
"Well, honey," said the old lady, "I dunno 'bout dat. I allus 'lowed
when de Lord send me tribulation he done spec' me to tribulate.
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