"
TRUTH
Many truths expressed are never claimed at their destination.
Truth is elastic. Don't stretch it unless you want it to fly back and
sting you.
FIRST STUDENT (wearily)--"I suppose I'll be up all night tonight; I
have to make out my expense account."
SECOND (more hopefully)--"Why don't you tell the truth and get a good
night's rest?"
The two village trouble-makers had gotten into a row and the matter
was up in court. Uncle Wash, an old gentleman of color, was a witness.
"Now, uncle," said the lawyer, "tell me just what conversation
occurred."
"I kain't jes' remember it all," replied the candid Wash, "excep' dat
each one was callin' de other what dey is."
"Truth crushed to earth will rise again" said the hopeful person.
"Yes," replied the cynic; "but it's liable to have to go with a crutch
for some time after."
UMBRELLAS
"It says here that a Missouri man boasts that he has an umbrella that
has been in his possession for twenty years," said Smith.
"Well," replied Jones, "that's long enough. He ought to return it."
FIRST ARTIST--"The umbrella you lent me? I have lent it to a friend."
SECOND ARTIST--"That is very awkward.
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