The man who lent it to my friend
tells him that the owner wants it."
"Little girl, why aren't you provided with an umbrella?" "Because
father hasn't been to church this year."--_Puck_.
"Young man," said the fond father, "in giving you my daughter, I have
entrusted you with the dearest treasure of my life."
The young man was duly impressed and made no endeavor to conceal his
emotion and his gratitude. Then, during the few moments of impressive
silence that followed, he heard the patter, patter of rain against the
window.
"Goodness me!" he exclaimed, "it's raining and I haven't my umbrella!
May I borrow yours, sir, to keep me dry while I run to the station?"
"Young man," said the fond parent, "I do not trust anyone with my
umbrella!"
UNEXPECTED
"It is the unexpected that always happens," observed the Sage.
"Well," commented the Fool, "if this is true, why don't we learn to
expect it?"
UNITED STATES
After the janitor had tacked a new map on the wall, Umson said to
Amley:
"By golly, the United States is getting to be a great place, ain't
it?"
"Yes," said Amley, "if it gets to be much bigger I'll have to move my
desk."
VACATIONS
Our unfortunate experience is that a day off is generally followed by
an off day.
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