SEARCH
0-9 A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Prev | Current Page 636 | Next

Stein, Gertrude, 1874-1946

"More Toasts"

They were riding through a
Rocky-Mountain canon one day, when suddenly a tremendous gust of wind
came swooping down upon them and actually carried the Englishman clean
off the wagon-seat. After he had been picked up, he combed the sand
and gravel out of his whiskers and said:
"I say! I think you overdo ventilation in this country!"

The street-car conductor examined the transfer thoughtfully and said
meekly, "This here transfer expired an hour ago, lady." The lady,
digging into her purse after a coin, replied, "No wonder, with not a
single ventilator open in the whole car!"


VOICE

Speech was given to man to disguise his thoughts.--_Talleyrand_.


VOTING

PAT--"Sure, I voted th' Raypublican ticket!"
MIKE--"Would ye trust such a party as thot?"
PAT--"They didn't ask me to--they paid me cash."

In St. Louis there is one ward that is full of breweries. In a recent
election the local option question was up. After the election the
clerks were counting the votes. One was calling off and another taking
down the option votes. The first clerk, running rapidly through the
ballots, said: "Wet, wet, wet, wet." Suddenly he stopped. "Mein Gott!"
he cried. "Dry!" Then he went on: "Wet, wet, wet, wet.


Pages:
624 625 626 627 628 629 630 631 632 633 634 635 636 637 638 639 640 641 642 643 644 645 646 647 648